I have put my back out plenty of times since being a teenager. Usually from forward bending. Deadlifts, making beds, picking things up. It’s a position my body has never liked. It can feel like I’ve been wacked. I can go into doom mode, followed by negotiating if the pain changes what I can and cannot do. But like my Osteopath says (and my husband reinforces) it’s not worth it if it develops into a disc problem. I often feel like a fool. This is what I teach people – how to get out of pain, how to control it. But I’m also human. I love pushing my body and I also just want to do what everyone else is. Despite having major lumbar pain where I can barely stand and breaking 19 bones, I still crave not being seen as damaged. Treated as different. But I also know I am. I have always been. Fixated. Focused. Determined. That has got me into, but also out of, some real scrapes. It has found me having to be more sensible. Aligned with the values I hold others to.
More times than I care to remember I have been gung-ho with things. Looking back I felt invincible. Until I didn’t. I didn’t read the warning sides, ignored the red flags. Because as much as I tried to turn them green they stayed on amber. When I look back at the times I’ve injured myself I feel like it’s a handful. Then I remember the numerous times – where I was – which house I lived in. If I had to go to hospital or the ambulance came to give me gas and air. I hate thinking I’m injury prone.
This gung ho approach is how I’ve always been. I was a champion swimmer, competed in anything going from athletes, netball, hockey, for the Channel Islands. In my 20s I was good at rowing in the gym so the next thing I knew I was at the British indoor rowing championships placing second. You don’t do things by halves my friends all commented when I fell off my bike breaking 18 bones. Don’t I? I wondered. I just thought I was a bit all or nothing! Like I was with swimming at 18. I wanted out, so that’s what I did. I went from swimming 6 times a week to nothing. The only thing I regretted was my body ballooning. It was a relief to stop. So many people felt let down, but my overwhelming feeling was of relief. That I didn’t have to do this anymore.
But what if this recurring issue is not due to going too far, but my lower back or hips being hyper-mobile? I have always been able to touch my hands to the floor. I was never seen as particularly bendy, but then in a room full of yogis i’m not. And after all, I have malleable hands like this photo, and a thumb joint made of cheese.
Researching this has made me become more aware of the link between neurodivergence and hyper-mobility. This is worth considering if you feel the same about your joints and persistent injuries. My brain has 50 tabs open and this has become much more obvious during perimenopause.
Also, could female injuries be connected to our cycles? Something we just ignored and got on with as young female athletes. It was never considered to take into account energy levels or how you feel.
Georgia Kohlhoff uses The Flourishing Five Framework to explain that we may know what to do when it comes to nutrition. That knowing and doing are very different matters;
1. Awareness – Notice what triggers the “I’ve blown it” moment. (Hint: it’s usually hunger or stress)
2. Nourishment – Feed your body before it asks twice. Regular meals are not weakness or “giving in”, they’re a basic necessity.
3. Autonomy – You don’t have to eat like an influencer. You have to eat like you.
4. Compassion – Every “slip” is data, not failure. Treat yourself as someone learning, not losing.
5. Consistency – Repeat the small, boring things that work most of the time. That’s the magic.
This can also be applied well to pain. Being aware of it, being consistent and nourishing rather than punishing yourself. How many times have you heard people say to be kinder to yourself? That you wouldn’t speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? Now when I injure myself people say “take care of yourself”. What if taking care of others doesn’t always allow for that?!
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